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Navigating a ‘Good Divorce’ with your child

By: Sarah Armstrong | Published: October, 2022

About 10 years ago, my husband and I decided to no longer be married. Grace, our daughter, was seven years old at the time. 

What my ex-husband and I did, and committed to, became the basis for my book, The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved. 

By “good divorce” I mean one that puts children first. 

No one gets married to get divorced. And no one gets divorced for positive reasons, but children don’t have a say in the matter. 

To create a good divorce takes a lot of effort…with laser focus on what is best for the children. 

When a couple goes through a divorce and children are involved…the stakes are high. We owe it to our children to ensure they are not collateral damage due to the divorce.  

Just for the record, I am not a fan of divorce—my parents have been happily married for 54 years in a true partnership, and I never dreamed I would be divorced. Unfortunately, I watched ugly divorces when I was growing up amongst some of my parents’ friends.

I was determined that was not going to be how Grace experienced this divorce.

One thing my ex-husband and I decided early on was to attend sporting events and parent-teacher conferences together. We would sit together and focus our attention on Grace.  

When Grace was 11 years old, my ex-husband and I were attending a parent-teacher conference. The school had the student attend the conference, so Grace joined us. 

At the end of the conference, as we stood up to go, the teacher said, “Are you two divorced?”

Indeed, we were. 

She was surprised, telling us, “You can’t believe how many divorced parents could never sit together for one hour to discuss their children’s educational progress.”

It’s a fact of life. You are parents forever. Divorced or not. 

It’s my mission to change the societal perception of divorce, to advocate that a good divorce is possible, putting the children front and center every step of the way. 

Sarah Armstrong is the author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce, available in the U.K. and worldwide on Amazon as a paperback, Kindle edition or Audible.

Sarah Armstrong is the author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce, available in the U.K. and worldwide on Amazon as a paperback, Kindle edition or Audible. To hear more from Sarah, join her in conversation with Ashley on the Bizzimumzi podcast  here

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